OPUS DOCTOR with Dr Pepper #1

2009-03-13T22:23:00.003+11:00

Have an embarrassing health problem? Dr. Pepper will answer all your questions in a public and humiliating fashion!*

*Dr Pepper claims no responsibility for minor burns, unwanted pregnancies or nervous breakdowns caused by his advice.

Dear Doctor,
My boyfriend and I were flying a kite on a marvelous sunny day in the park to celebrate our mutual love of cardigans. He licked his finger in order to ascertain which way the wind was blowing, and I’m afraid to say I ran straight into him, and his finger became lodged in my eye for a good half a second. Does this mean I’m pregnant, and can you recommend a good retailer of baby cardigans?

From Winky Magee.

Dear Winky,

You have indeed become impregnated (or impregnato as they say in Italy)! Congratulations! However, if this is an unwanted pregnancy, there is a simple reversal progress, known as unimpregnato. Your boyfriend simply needs to apologise, then headbutt you gently in the wrist. If you are still unsure of the process, this procedure was once featured in an episode of Charmed (watch out for a cameo by David Spade as the kite!)

The Doctor.

---

Dear Doctor,

Every time I take a step I hear a clicking noise, followed by quite a loud pop and then a painful burning sensation in my hips. What could this be?

From Limpy Magee.

Dear Limpy,

You have a gun tied to your shoe.

The Doctor.

---

Dear Doctor,

I have an extremely severe case of hemorrhoids. I’m so embarrassed about it that I can’t even go to my own doctor about it, and even my girlfriend doesn’t know! Is there a way I can treat them privately?

From Anonymous Magee.

Dear Kyle,

Hey man! I still have that CD I borrowed from you so…yeah come and pick that up whenever. So…how have you been? Aside from the piles, I mean. That’s gross. Anyway…I haven’t seen you in ages! Is your number still 0422644895? Say hi to your dad for me, good old Mr. Travers. I guess I might see you in Stats this year…I’ll bring you a cushion. Hahaha.

The Doctor.

FICTIONS - Opus Band Interview

2009-03-13T21:34:00.003+11:00

In early 2009, Opus magazine has caught up with Cam James, front man of rising local band Fictions to discuss their sounds, the local live music scene, life, the universe and everything.

Opus: Just to get the ball rolling, what is Fictions, and what’s your sound?
Cam: FICTIONS is what happens when Dean, Cam, Tom and Liam get in a room together and make noise. I get uncomfortable throwing around Genre names, so I’ll go for a broad one and call us “Alternative Rock”. But you can hear a bit of Punk in there, and a bit of Psychedelic too.

O: Why the name Fictions?
C: Choosing a name is the worst part of being in a band. You’d think it would be the best, but it’s not. You realize that all the ones you made up by yourself sound ridiculous when you say them out loud. I used to call the songs we’d written our “little fictions” or “little stories” when we were starting to write, and eventually we got round to appropriating that to our name. But we had some terrible temporary names for a while there!

O: You are an incredibly energetic live act…what do you do to drum up that unbounded enthusiasm before each gig?
C: Why thank you, Opus! It’s hard to get everyone in the same frame of mind, and you can always tell when one member isn’t as energized as the others. I can’t speak for the others, because we all get ready in our own ways, but I’m all for listening to live albums in the car about half an hour before we go on. “Five to One” from The Doors Absolutely Live, or “Gimme Danger” from The Stooges Metallic KO. Then I always end up jumping around backstage for a few minutes before we get out there. We never let ourselves be afraid to do something on stage, no matter how stupid it may look, or possibly dangerous. We use our instincts a lot.

O: How loyal are your fans, and how did you build up your fanbase?
C: We’ve always said that in your home town, you don’t so much have “fans” as “friends”. I think we’ve become friends with most of the boys and girls who come to watch us in Newcastle. They’re great! We hang out with them, or go to parties with them. They get just as excited as us at our shows, it’s an excuse for a party. We’ve been steadily building fans in Sydney, up the coast and a little in Canberra by playing in Uni bars, through word of mouth and just hanging out with the locals. We’ve still got a lot more to do! And this year we’ll do more Street Press and Media stuff, hopefully more airplay and playing as often as possible!

O: Do fan and crowd reactions to your songs have an effect on the musical direction of the band, or does the music come more from within the band itself?
C: Well in the early stages we certainly found that the songs the crowd reacted to the best, became our favourites, and that pushed us to write more like them. This is still an influence, but, I’d hate to be a predictable band. Like Faker. Or a band that wrote the same song over and over for the rest of their career. Our newest batch is different to the last, and it was definitely our decision to move on.

O: What is your personal favourite Fictions song, and what makes it so darn good?
C: We have a new-ish song that we’ve been closing with, it’s not on our EP, but we’re thinking of recording/releasing it as a single this year. It’s called “Hard to Live in a City with You”. I love it. I love singing it. And I love it so much because it’s so simple. There aren’t many lyrics. The chorus is a wordless, anthemic sing-along. And it sums up everything I wanted it to without unnecessary flourishes in under 3 minutes.

O: What was the best gig you ever played and why?
C: Last year we had some great gigs! Some shit ones too. But there were a few that were fucking unreal. Our last gig of 2008 at the Cambridge with Vaudeville was amazing because we had a packed room, which hardly ever happens for local bands – we had more than The Grates did a week earlier! The British India show in Maitland at Hunter Valley Brewery was the most I’ve ever felt like a rock star. I spent half the set in the crowd. Girls were grabbing at Toms jeans. Guys were passing drinks up to the stage for us. It was a sold out room, and everyone was dancing with us and jumping around! Unreal. Oh, and one more! On the way to Armidale Uni, we played a practice show at a place called Laurieton the night before. The pub was a quiet local. There were 6 old guys in there who were hassling us while we were setting up. Yelling at us. Laughing at our jeans, etc. That put us all in bad moods. We’ve never played so loud, or with such angry energy as we did that night! They shut the power off 17 minutes into the set, abused us and kicked us out. I think there’s a bounty out on us in Laurieton.

O: Who are your main influences? Do you have any local influences?
C: We are big fans of Australian music. Mostly from the late 70’s, early 80’s. Like INXS, The Birthday Party (or anything Nick Cave as done), The Triffids, Midnight Oil, The Church - those bands really sounded like Australia. Aside from The Drones, or The Presets and a few others you could easily mistake most contemporary Aussie bands for American or British. Like Faker. As for overseas influences, I’m going to have to go with David Bowie, Iggy Pop/The Stooges, Lou Reed/Velvet Underground, The Doors, and maybe Joy Division.

O: Do you feel there’s competition for local gigs, or is the Newcastle music scene like one big happy family?
C: It is definitely a competitive place. Most bands will be very friendly to each others faces, and then pure evil behind their backs. Everybody views everybody else as a direct competitor, instead of an ally. I’m sure we’ve been guilty of it in the past, but I try not to think like that. However, some of my best friends are musos and they’re the nicest people on earth. Bands like Vaudeville, The Deposits, Sketching Cato and people like Mark Wells and Tom Hudson. I love them! We still get jealous of each other sometimes, but we’re all too good friends to let it get serious.

O: What have you been listening to recently?
C: I’m forever listening to Bowie, Iggy and Lou. They blow my mind. But I usually listen to everything I get my hands on. Looking at my iTunes, I’ve recently been listening to The Birthday Party-Release the Bats EP, Mercy Arms-Kept Low EP, Camille-Le Fil, Regurgitator-Unit, Warsaw-The Complete Recordings, and The Sleepy Jackson-Lovers. I’m also repeating the Lupe Fiasco song “Kick, Push” a lot. I just get addicted to songs that don’t follow an obvious structure. And anything that repeats the same sections over and over again, but doesn’t get boring. I’m fascinated by it. I just try to absorb all the secrets in these records.

O: Who would you rather drink acid than listen to?
C: Drinking acid is pretty extreme! But I detest Metro Station. I don’t care how catchy the chorus is, “Shake It” is just an awful song. Lyrically. Musically. Structurally. It’s soul destroying. I would listen to them drink acid though.

O: Is Fictions like a full time job for you guys yet, or do you study or work?
C: It is pretty much full-time. We spend a lot of time writing, planning, jamming, booking shows and playing. However, you need a job to be able to afford to play in a band at this stage. We all work. And Dean, Tom and I are Uni Students at Newcastle.

O: Do any of you have unexpected talents you can fall back on if Fictions doesn’t make it (God forbid!)
C: I’ve always thought we could start a tribute band and do the RSL circuit if we never made a career from this. Maybe a Nickelback tribute band? Other than that, I’m positive we’d have nothing else to offer. Though I quite like film, and using a camera so maybe I could film live concerts for bands? Start with weddings and bar mitzvah, and work up from there.

O: Where is Fictions going from here musically? Have you found your sound evolves over time?
C: We really spend a lot of time writing our new songs and going over them section by section for what seems like forever. We’ve learnt to get to the point quicker. A lot of our earlier stuff had extra padding, but these are more direct. Lyrically, I’m more concerned with saying what I want, as opposed to making it sound beautiful. Musically, we’re a bit more sparse. Tom, Dean and Liam are playing parts and rhythms that weave around each other, and they’re quite intricate, but as a whole it sounds simple. We evolve a lot. And I hope we always do.

O: Thanks for speaking with us Cam, want to plug something before we let you go?
C: I want to plug a few things actually. www.myspace.com/fictionsband. And March 18 at the Cambridge, it’s our first show of the year, and one of the few that we can do in town this year. Fuck dancing to a remix of “Sex on Fire” at the Northern. Come dance to a live band. Come dance to FICTIONS. Anything could happen!

Submit To Opus 2009

2009-03-13T17:54:00.000+11:00

In a nicer and more amiable fashion than last year's Opus, which simply stated "Submit to Opus" and addressed the reading audience as "fuckers", the above pamphlets have been air dropped across the planet inviting those reading to embark on what is essentially a romantic date with the editor(s). Little did the public realise that the editors had a bottle of chloroform ready to capture potential dates and throw them into a Saw like scenario where the only possible way to escape was to write an Opus article on a lone typewriter named Harvey.

The previous Opus website, which lay in ruin since 2006, pre-VSU, did little to impress the new editors, Fergus Fink & River Basil. In its space a much simpler blog style site has replaced it with the basic aim of becoming more accessable to readers online.

Opus Online

OPUS DOCTOR with Dr Pepper #1

FICTIONS - Opus Band Interview

Submit To Opus 2009